Death Rights

I tend to believe in a survival of the fittest way of life.  By that I don’t necessarily mean that one must be of the best health and temperament to make it in this world.  I do NOT believe we should throw money away keeping alive those who will never again have a quality life.  The old, “But in five years they may have advances” argument makes my skin crawl.  The world is over populated with many people who are unable to feed, clothe and house themselves, yet Johnny in a coma gets round the clock care, food, medicine, housing and even gets brought back to life if his heart stops.

I know it is sad for a baby die when it is born with motor disabilities which will never allow the child to walk, speak, write or sign.  What kind of life is it to be bound inside one’s own head and constantly in pain from tightening muscles? 

It is very sad when grandma has advanced cancer and spends more of her time sick and in pain than she can spend happy and enjoying time with those she loves.

I do cry for animals sick or injured to the point of inability to BE that animal.

How do you feel?  Am I selfish for wanting to allow the hard decisions to be made or is it selfish for us to cling so tightly to our loved ones that we can’t let them die in peace?  Is assisted suicide wrong for people but okay for other animals in misery?  At what point do the cost of keeping an incapable contributor to society alive balance with the good that money could do when put to other uses?

First Memories

I often like to ask people what their first memory is and how old they were when the event happened.  For me, it is getting my “big girl” bed and having my new puppy sleep beside the bed in the box in which our new coffee table had come.  The next morning I woke to find the puppy eating its waste.  I was two and a half.

It has come to my attention in asking this, that most first memories, and many other memories besides, are results of stress or trauma.  I found it exceedingly gross that my puppy was eating poop and then wanted to lick me when I held him.  Many of my memories from very early childhood carry similar levels of stress.

I was also amazed at how many people can’t remember anything, except as stories passed along from relatives, until they reach school age.  Still, the school age memories carry some stressor. 

So, what is your first memory and how old were you?  Are you sure your memory comes from your own head or does it come from the stories others have told you?  How much of your own life can you chronicle from your own recollection?

Snow Day

I’ve been told by many people that they always assumed teachers were sad when school was called due to snow.  As adults, we probably don’t think about this topic much unless we have friends who teach.  How do you feel when you are released from work due to bad weather or maintenance issues?  I have a feeling this all depends on whether you get paid or lose money for those missing hours.  What is your favorite thing to do on these unexpected free days at home?  How long before “cabin fever” kicks in and you wish to leave?  Share a great, funny or crazy memory of a snow day.

Christmas for the Christians, December 25 for the rest

I celebrate Christmas in that I enjoy spending time with those I love and cherish, yet I place no religious or commercial significance on the date.  I hope that, whatever you celebrate today, Christmas, Saturday, snow fall, birthday or waking up, you have a safe and wonderful day filled with love.

There was a bright light . . . Let's start with birth.

We are all born and not a single one of us has a choice in the matter.  The people that have the choice are women and, to a somewhat lesser extent, men whose bodies have reached an age where reproductive organs have turned them into “adults”.  Given that, you may think I am going to talk about teen pregnancy.  I’m not; at least not right now.  What I want to talk about is choice.  No, I’m not talking about abortion either.  I want to discuss choice in the pursuit of childbearing.

My divorced parents did not have an easy time as I was growing up.  Add to that the talk I often heard of the generation gap, and you get a ten year old girl that decided if she didn’t have a child by the age of twelve at the latest, children should not be had.  Mind you, I knew how children came to be and I was doing NOTHING that would cause such a happenstance until I was nearly seventeen.

Many would dismiss this as the unformed opinion of a child which, I agree, is likely to change.  In my case it did not.  As I grew and thought more about children and whether I wanted them, my opinion became more solidified and for ever better reasons.  My reasons varied from physical to emotional and even societal.  Why put my body and mind though that trauma of pregnancy and childbirth if there are parentless children all over the world?

When child free couples, and sometimes even people with "too few" children, (as a friend of mine with "only" one child) want to be sterilized they must jump through hoops.  They have to see doctors and state medical reasons.  They have to see therapists and state medical and emotional reasons and a back up plan, then back to the doctors with a note from said therapist stating that they are sane enough to make this decision having thought it through properly.  I heard one doctor ask, “What if, in five years, you are no longer with your husband and your new husband wants to have biological children?”  This was countered with, “If I get pregnant and have a child, can I return it at the age of five?”  Many times couples must look for a doctor that will agree due to population control beliefs.

Over the years, I had to defend my child free choice, even to family.  It would irk me that each family gathering was peppered with the question of when we were going to have children.  “Don’t you like children?” and "You're selfish." seemed always to find the way into conversation.  WHY couldn’t people accept the idea of a couple wanting to remain child free?

In meeting other child free couples and hearing that they endure the same criticisms and complaints from family and friends, I felt even more annoyed that people are unable to respect and honor well thought out decisions of the people they love.  Condescension (“You’ll change your mind.”), assumptions (“Don’t you like children?” “Do you have a genetic problem you don’t want to pass on?”), bargaining (“Who will take care of you when you are old?”), and preaching (“That’s what we are made for.”) hid in many personal interactions.  Never mind that most of these were downright absurd reason for having children, but accidental pregnancy got more respect than my well thought out decision.

I started to notice that it wasn’t just the child free that suffered.  It happens as soon as you reach dating age.  “Do you have a boyfriend?” is followed by “When are you going to get married?”  There seems to be some magical, undefined line when these questions change from one to the other.  How many of us have NOT heard on our wedding day, “When are you going to start having children?”  Then, there is the one question that caught me most off guard.  My cousin was a new mother all of two weeks.  She had had trouble conceiving and a difficult pregnancy.  Yet, as if we are just like queen bees, someone asked, “When are you having your next one?”

So tell me please, if you can, why does society feel the need to push for this pattern despite over population, starvation, homelessness, economic downturns, and lack of healthcare?  Why does an unwed, accidentally pregnant woman get more support than a consciously child free woman or couple?  Have you experienced any part of this push for “normalcy”? 

Introduction

Hello, thanks for reading.  I figured there should be an introduction telling you a little about myself, why I chose the name, what to expect and why I wanted to blog in the first place.

 I am a female near 40 who has had a varied upbringing and many jobs in this life. Along the way I have formed many opinions yet I keep an open mind in order to be always ready to learn. These two qualities within myself have led to the name I chose for this site, open for open-minded and 8ed for opinionated.

This, also, is why I want to blog. I find myself often in possession of questions, rants, opinions and insights which I need to purge.  I am eager to practice my writing, know the opinions of others, have spirited yet respectful discussions and expand my mind. 

I hope to blog at least once weekly. Topics will be highly varied, occasionally VERY adult and most often outside of the mainstream. I hope to build a following which will challenge and excite me. As you read, please comment respectfully and if you like what you read, send me to friends!